Something About Don't Care

what an insufferable moment
(the man on the sofa agrees)

My mostly natural-textured hair has recently been disguised with long twists.  This is what happens when I re-enter school or work with what seems to be an impossibly drastic change in hairstyle.

"Your hair grew!"  I used to employ a hidden eye roll for this comment but now I say "Yup!" with the same enthusiasm.

"You braid your hair like this every night?!"  A kid in my ninth grade biology class asked me this.  I think I answered yes.  

The other way around--when I deceived people from the beginning with my extension twists and then later removed them.  "You took out your dreads! Your haircut looks so good."  Brief deadpan.  Um...they weren't dreads but thanks.  Maybe I should have educated her about the difference.  Oh and about how I didn't get a haircut.  Hmm...

So, there are some women who hate when strangers touch their hair...usually without asking.  Or they find anyone who dares touch to be strange.  And with good reason.  Remember the elementary school classroom rule "Keep your hands to yourself"?  Always after the one about respect and the one about raising your hand to speak.  Well, that rule actually remains in effect for the rest of your life.  Unless someone has invited you to touch them-- explicitly or you know, with their eyes-- just don't.

Others don't mind.  It's just whatever.  Maybe the uninvited touch is not a major violation of personal space.  Or it's an opportunity to educate.  "You're so interested in my hair you want to touch it? Well let me tell you a few things..."  One of which might very well be "Don't pet people like they're goats at the zoo."  Ask and if you find it too uncomfortable to ask then the action is not meant for you anyway.  

I'm in the middle with this.  If you're a little girl who likes to play with hair, by all means, touch away.  As long as I'm not busy with anything.  Give me a haphazard ponytail (with several strands left out).  Braid from root to end.  Fold it into nothing.  It's strangely soothing to me.  But if you're an adult and I'm not paying you to manipulate my hair...

Today a co-worker came up to me while I sat at my desk and said "I've been wanting to touch your hair."  Then she touched the individual twists but I didn't object.  I think I made a confused face (wondering WHY?) which she didn't see because I continued to write in my case as she asked questions and never turned toward her.

"How long did it take?"  

"About four hours."

"Oh, it doesn't look braided all the way."  

"The ends are dipped in hot water to seal them."  

Then there was a compliment, some comment about me with long hair and the exchange was done.  I wasn't bothered with it (although it may seem like it the way I've written).  Her questions and desire to touch made me think about human curiosity and boundaries.  Is personal space limited to the body?  Does hair not count because it's technically "dead" or simply not (biologically) yours?  Once, not too long ago, I really wanted to touch this guy's hair.  It looked so soft and curly but I resisted.  If only to avoid the weirdness.  Why am I trying to touch dig my fingers as deep as the length will allow in this guy's hair?  No good reason? No good season.  And I felt it uncomfortable to ask.

I let boundaries restrain my curiosity.  Everyone should know how and when to do that.  And when to use Google when you want to know something.  Maybe visit a museum on extensions, weaves and wigs.  Does anything like that exist?!

Happy Tuesday!

I Woke Up Like This

I know there has already been enough commotion over Beyonce's surprise album release, but I was out of the country and out of the loop.  My lovely sister gave me the physical album for Christmas and I wanted to hear if it would be as amazing as others have made it out to be.  The cover art hidden beneath the sleeve turned me off (yes Beyonce, we've known you're bootylicious for some time now) and the Parental Advisory sticker was unexpected, but I am angel either so I looked past it and had me a listening session.

Of course I now have it on repeat. I love it XO.  And I've been drankin'.  The pink and black of the album sleeve inspired my color choice today.  I'm half-wondering if this sweater is meant to be cropped because it's actually a petite-sized piece (which I'm not but oh well).  I also decided to apply makeup, something I still don't know how to do so well.  I put too much, forget steps (is translucent powder necessary?) and sometimes look clownish.  But isn't that the fun of it?  Next time I should watch one of the thousands of beauty YouTube videos and try to learn those techniques.  Easy New Year's resolution maybe?  

I feel I should express some kind of sentiment about the year coming to a close and the new year ahead.  It's most appropriate but I wouldn't be saying anything much different from everyone else.  So instead I'll say this: Let's not make December 31st forgettable.  The last day of the month and of the year is likely tired of being overshadowed by NYE emphasis.  The day is more than that. Day >>> Night.  Don't you understand?! lol

Wet n' Wild ColorIcon Eyeshadow in Petal Pusher
Maybelline ColorSensational in Vivid Rose

Outfit Details

St. John Sport by Marie Gray sweater (old from my mom)

white tank (H&M)

Levi's Bold Curve skinny jeans

the stiffest sneakers ever made (Forever 21)

pink necklace I tried to fold into a bracelet

L'elegance bangle (old old old from a fashion yummy-looking jewelry store)

[Still] Happy New Year's Eve to anyone and everyone!

The Answer is YES

Source: Pinterest by way of Etsy

Life is an adventure.  When you're young, I think you don't even realize you've said yes to adventures.  Your innocence and natural curiosity just propel you forward, make you think, use your imagination and bombard anyone older than you with never-ending "why?" questions.  As you grow older, and sometimes become disillusioned with reality, you have to remind yourself to say yes.  To chase dreams, take risks and live instead of simply existing.

There are so many big questions waiting for you in the world.  Some abstract and some tangible and some immediate, difficult, stupid.  The answers to some of them could require some work to find and in the end they may not work out best.  But here we have one big question, posed by Joseph Campbell, an American mythologist and writer.  I think that the correct answer should always be yes.
The end.  Happy Sunday.

Hey Hey Hey

This Black Friday/Cyber Monday business is dangerous!  From every direction, deals bombarded my inbox, my television screen, and my radio (for those of us who still sometimes heart radio).  30% off this.  20% off that.  One day only, until midnight EST, while supplies last, almost sold out.  HURRY!  These stores are trying to fake us out, trying to make us believe that the only time to buy is now.  Even if you weren't planning to.  Sometimes my better judgement wanders away and I think "Yeah man, the time is now.  I gotta buy this!"  But then it comes back with these questions for me:

1. Do you really need any of this?  
2. Could this be a gift for someone you know (and love)? 

If the answer is a definitive "no" or a derivative of "no" (like a  "not really"), then I take a seat and let my bank card live in peace.  That's the way it should go.  But two days ago I was guilty in this regard for the first time.  My mind said "no" and my heart (or something posing as my heart) said "Why not?"  

But for real, why not?  Well, people can blow some serious dough either thinking that every offer is the best deal or simply getting sucked into the world of busted budget bubbles at this time of the year.  Some people might feel it necessary or even required.  And if they can't then December 25 is just an empty day.  But if they fly to the moon, in the new year there might be mixed feelings of regret peeking out from underneath all the leftover holiday joy.  Reality's like, "Man, ain't that credit card bill due soon?"  

A painted postcard of the Riverwalk*

Last year was the first time I was able to buy gifts for everyone in my family and I was excited to do so.  But I also felt obligated to do so.  If I hadn't been excited or willing to finally reciprocate past years of generosity, I think I would feel like I had to.  But sometimes it's best to make yourself willing when you find yourself able.  Be generous, be thoughtful.  The thoughtful part can be difficult and not particularly fun to execute.  What do these people want?!  What would they like?  I became a little invested in seeing reactions upon opening gifts (hoping I'd chosen right), which can be a not-so-good thing if that's all that matters.  Or it can be an amazingly entertaining time if it involves my family.  The gifts were lovely, but the expressions on everyone's face, the candid and posed camera snaps, and just acting crazy were the best.  I don't even remember how much I spent altogether.  But I'm pretty sure I didn't burst any bubbles.

Celebrating family is a noble purpose for Christmastime.  The insane shopping and gift-giving facilitates that, right?  And who dislikes receiving gifts?  But back in middle school or early high school I remember wondering why.  I thought that maybe instead of exchanging Christmas gifts we should give gifts for the New Year.  New year, new thing to start it off fresh, special and memorable.  But it's hard to break traditions.  What else are we supposed to do on Christmas day besides tear open gifts and eat?  Reflect? (Yeah, that's a good one) Watch Fat Albert in theaters?  (Um...oh wait, that actually happened)

 Yesterday morning on the radio I heard a snippet of a mother lamenting that she can't afford to get her kids anything for Christmas.  I sympathized for her from afar because stories like that make it seem like Christmas is about presents.  Because the expectation for presents exists and has become ingrained into the culture of the holiday season in the U.S.  We wouldn't hear this same mother talk about how she can't afford to buy her kids a birthday gift at any other time of the year.  Her kids would love Christmas presents, but I imagine that she works hard and often for the majority of the year and her kids would probably really appreciate her presence as a present instead.  If assumptions were always true... Though, I understand her heartbrokenness.  It can feel awful to have to choose to break a tradition.  Can't we still keep the heart in these celebrations without feeling beholden to retail?

The end (of the year) is near.  And I'm wondering what in the world I'm trying to conclude here.  I just pulled myself into a rambling, all because of the Black Friday/Cyber Monday hullabaloo.  Hmm... I guess I will say that everyone should do whatever they like (within reason).  Celebrate Advent, Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, Boxing Day, and whatever else in a way that best suits you.  But people should also try to live within their means and not dive head first into debt because something's told them they must.  Some advertising has been proven effective.  Overdosing may....

*pretending to be a photo