Amateur in the Mirror | Last Days

"Last post I mentioned how variable the dress code is at my job."  That's what I wrote when I first began this post...almost three months ago.

For two years my job was disease intervention, first in STD/HIV and then in tuberculosis.  I had to interact directly with people who either had a communicable disease or could be at risk to contract one, which meant I had to be "in the field."  In hospitals, in people's homes, sometimes on the street, riding around San Antonio and anywhere else within Bexar County.  You were supposed to dress comfortably yet professionally.  Not dressed up-- jeans were okay--but not roll-out-of-bed dressed down.  Business casual, I was told.  A lot of times it was more casual than business but I think the nature of the work excuses it.

I remember when I first got the position and had no idea exactly what I'd be doing.  "I need work clothes!" I thought.  So my mom and I went thrifting (and she did her magic elsewhere) to get me started on a basic work wardrobe.  Dress pants and button-downs and shift dresses and sensible wedges.  And I wore all of these and looked well-put together for my first day and first two months (when I was mostly indoors reading about the knowledge instead of out there applying the knowledge).  Once I started going out on my own, the way I dressed changed.  I'd only wear dresses and heels when I was on clinic duty (to conduct patient interviews) or planed to stay in the office and didn't have to go out into the field.  

Here, I was in Atlanta for my end of program/fellowship training where the dress code was a definite business casual.  I was really feelin' myself and that polka dot skirt so I set my camera on the counter of my hotel room and tried some mirror tricks.  This is probably the easiest way to look professional: pencil skirt, top and cardigan, flats okay, heels optional.  I think I could wear all of this for something else entirely too.  Maybe it's not actually as business casual/professional as I thought...huh.

Happy Labor Day!

Outfit Details

Target Mossimo polka dot skirt // Target dress t-shirt // Nine West cardigan // BCBGeneration wedges // JewelMint Frosty Florals necklace // Steve Madden crossbody purse

Keep Your Head Up

Sometimes I am a lie!  A fraud, a tame hypocrite.  I pass on words of encouragement because everyone needs encouragement and small reminders from time to time.  Then a moment hits me where I feel down or strange or un-confident.  In that moment I should instantly remember those words of encouragement I've heard and the ones I've tried to pass on.  But I don't. I stay stuck for a bit.

Scrolling through old bookmarks and old blog posts, I had a gasp-filled epiphany.  "Hey you, look at what you favorited.  Look at what you wrote.  Telling people to find joy no matter what's going on, to look up.  Have you done that today in your moment of internal despair?"  Yesterday, I felt some type of way (which is an inadequate way of saying you're displeased with or about something) and had to consciously think about not allowing myself to cry over nothing.  I didn't remember what I'd written to encourage others (and myself).  I didn't remember what my mother has told me about prayer and positive self-talk and perceiving myself as others see me (usually the truth instead of a distortion of the truth).

Staying stuck for longer than a little bit requires hefty reminders.  Until the point of nagging even, if that is what it takes for the lightbulb to switch on.  On to acknowledge the good, on to believe in yourself and your capabilities, on to shine light onto others.  Ahh, please remember sometimes...

I know it's hard, know it's hard,

To remember sometimes,

But you gotta keep your head up, oh,

And you can let your hair down, eh.

--"Keep Your Head Up," Andy Grammer
(this is one awesome, catchy song)

Simple Joy

Hello beautiful people!  

I've got to say, joy that seems to come from nowhere in particular is the best.  Sometimes your life is just fine, nothing devastating or horrible to be concerned about but nothing to jump on a couch about either.  Content without a smile.  Then something as simple as dressing up or getting home safely late at night can fill you with joy (and some serious excited energy).  This happened to me a few weeks ago when I went home and went out with my mom and sister.  To express joy just because...begets more joy, eh?

My mom told me to bring something to wear for a graduate school send-off party and a bridal shower (really, a pre-wedding party that didn't start until midnight).  I packed two outfit options.  When it came time to get dressed I decided to raid my sister's closet and pulled out this simple Prabal Gurung for Target dress.  I was drawn to its print and lack of zippers, cinched waist, or inner lining.  The shoes I'd brought with me were no good, but surprise! there were these pink heels that had been in my closet for six actual years (maybe more) and I don't recall ever wearing them anywhere.  I strategically pinned up my hair and then added silver/shiny jewelry and a pink lipstick (Maybelline's Color Sensational Vivids in Vivid Rose).  Look good, feel good!

*We took photos after coming home close to 3 am when we should have been beat and flopping straight onto the bed to sleep.

Outfit Details

Prabal Gurung for Target First Date printed dress // Michael Antonio lace-up heels // JewelMint Forever Audrey earrings // JewelMint Frosty Florals necklace // super old silver bracelets and bangle 

I hope you find some simple joy today.  Or just create it yourself, from within, no matter what may be happening in your life.  And if times is hard and things are a'changin', continue to look up (and forward) to get through.  xoxo

The Happy Hatter

pretty and delicious

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Outfit Details

Aryeh dress (Ruche) // Antoniazzi Firenze leather belt (my mom) //Rebecca Minkoff Mac bag

Nine West heels (Ross) // The hat (World Market)

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Saturdays are for bakeries and breweries.  First Bakery Lorraine for some macarons (my new favorite dessert!) and then the Pearl Brewery (where there is no longer a brewery) to wander.  All the while wearing a floppy hat.  Inspired by this story of a hat, I have composed my own "story." 

Before I went to Nigeria last December, I decided I wanted a floppy hat because I would be going from chilly to hot weather (and because I saw an Instagram pic of some girl looking cool in one...).  I had searched the Internets but by the time I really wanted the hat, my departure date was too close.  Whatever I ordered online wouldn't arrive when I needed it (and I didn't need a hat so badly to justify expedited shipping; I didn't need a hat at all).  So I went to a few stores: Target, Ross, TJ Maxx, Marshall's, and a peep at Walmart.

Do you know how hard it is to find what is basically a summer hat in the middle of winter?  I felt a little silly trying to find one until I stepped into World Market and saw this lone hat.  There was no price tag on it. 

Because it was way out of season, the sales clerk had to scroll through their inventory on the computer to find an item with a similar description and then find the price.  This took twenty minutes and I waited patiently.  Although I did say to myself "If this hat costs more than $15..."

The price was $10.  I happily paid and excitedly packed the hat in my suitcase for Nigeria.  And then it never left the suitcase for those three weeks abroad.  I never wore the hat that I went through all that trouble to find and buy.  Until this past Saturday when I tried to see if it could fit over my hair.  It did and all of a sudden my flat sandals had to go (according to my sister) in favor of heels.  And here I am, the happy hatter.

**taken by my lovely sister

Misadventures in Makeup: Smashbox Camera Ready BB Cream Review

Once upon a time, there was a young lady who kind of liked makeup and all the magic it can do to bring out natural beauty (or to hide it or create it).  While she liked it, she also kind of disliked it because it was just too much and she was clueless about how to apply it.  But one day, her beauty godmother advised her and encouraged her to try Smashbox Camera Ready BB Cream*.  This beautiful beauty godmother had heard great things about this BB cream:  "It's a step below foundation and a step above your bare face. Try it."  Plus it's supposed to moisturize, hydrate, prime, protect, amplify, tenderize and miraculize!

With the words of her beauty godmother ringing in her ears, this young lady got herself to a Sephora where she felt overwhelmed by all the products and the hive center filled with makeup belt wielding artistes taking to their random canvases.  Suddenly she became a canvas, but only for a short moment.  Long enough to choose the shade (dark, the darkest of them all) and test it along her jawline.  She asked questions: apply with fingers?  Just how much at once?  The artiste answered.  This young lady looked in the mirror and was satisfied.  She saw that it matched so she thanked the artiste and entered the queue to purchase it.  

Then she went on a journey from her homeland to a faraway land called Missouriana.  She smashed that box and used her new BB cream each day during her trip but the look was flat.  Unsatisfying.  Blah.  When she returned home she kept the cream locked up for a few weeks, only to have her beauty godmother inquire about it.  With the inquiry, she decided to give the cream another try.  At this final time she saw that she was hilariously mistaken.  The artiste was mistaken.  It was not a smash.

ohhhhhh.

is this serious?**

So Smashbox Camera Ready BB Cream...it comes in a relatively small tube.  I applied it with my fingers and tried to blend as well as I could.  Looking at these photos, it seems like the shade actually is similar enough to the shade of my neck and chest but the texture is not right.  It looks like I'm wearing makeup.  Maybe I'm not applying it correctly.  But for now, as far as I'm concerned...this is a no-go.  Join me for the next makeup (mis)adventure!

*I know this product has been available for a lifetime by now, but I've only just now made myself available to it lol.
**I mean, my hair is not serious...but no worries.